Well folks, considering I posted the first part of this entry a good two weeks ago, I apparently did not make good with my promise to post the second part "soon". I would say it's because I've been super busy, but anyone who interacts with me in my day-to-day life would immediately know that's a lie. Sorry. Here's part deux.
I believe when I last left off in my story, it was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was sitting in a park by my hostel in Edinburgh attempting to choke back vomit after a night of extreme drinking. We'll just skip over the rest of that day... Which brings us to Monday April 2nd. That was the fateful day when I boarded a big yellow bus with 40 other people to tour the Scottish countryside for three days. Huzzah!
It actually was super awesome, and definitely the highlight of the trip. The first day we meandered our way from Edinburgh in the south of Scotland up to Fort Augustus on the shores of Loch Ness, where we stayed for both nights of the tour.
Stirling Bridge, with the Wallace monument being that tiny looking tower to the right of the bridge tower. The monument is actually over 300 ft. tall.
The first stop, not too far outside of Edinburgh was Stirling Bridge. "Hm. Stirling." You might be thinking to yourself. Then this might flash into your head:
You're on the right track... how about one more try?
Yep, that's better. So if you've heard of Stirling anywhere, it was probably in Mel Gibson's epic film of Scottish heroism, Braveheart. Which as I mentioned last post is completely inaccurate.
The thing about the Battle of Stirling was that it was actually called the Battle of Stirling Bridge. What happened to the bridge in the film, you ask? Well Gibson deemed the bridge too difficult to work into the film, which is a shame because it literally was the reason why the Scots won the battle against the English. Because of the extremely muddy river shores and the English's tendency to attack on cavalry in full armor, the only real option for them to attack the Scots waiting on the other side of the river was one single-file wooden bridge. Of course that wasn't a great idea either, as after they clip-clomped over the bridge the Scottish had a pretty easy time of just slaughtering the English slowly. The ones who tried to ford the river instead of waiting for the bridge got so bogged down in the mud that they were easily killed as well. Thus, the bridge of Stirling was the reason why the Scots defeated the English and Mel Gibson got it all wrong.
We stopped to meet a Highland cow. Our tour guides referred to them as "hairy kuhs", which is funny because the German word for cow is actually Kuh. This one's name is Hamish.
Bus view
50 square kilometers of nothing.
Nothingness + a big yellow Haggis Adventures bus.
After taking in the stark and beautiful scenery we stopped for lunch and I had my first experience with haggis! In case you don't know what haggis is, I'll let you read up on your own HERE, and I will spare everyone else with the gory details. I didn't have it the traditional way, which is with mashed potatoes and vegetables, but instead had it served on top of a venison burger. I thought it was pretty tasty actually and I washed it all down with a local brew from Oban Bay.
We next made our way deeper into the Highlands and heard some of the legends and histories of the clans people. One of the best known is that of the Massacre of Glencoe. There is a long and complicated history behind the story, but basically the MacDonald Clan did not accept the new monarch of England to be their ruler. In keeping with the tradition of hospitality, various families throughout the Glen offered shelter and food to a certain Captain Campbell and his men while they were visiting the area. Campbell and his troops then proceeded to carry out a camisado, slaughtering most of the clan in their sleep. Those who managed to escape were forced to hide on the mountain in the bitter winter cold and snow while their homes burned below. Most of them died as well. It was a somber place.
Glencoe
Continuing with the stories of Scottish suffering, we next came to the Commando Memorial. The area around Ben Nevis was were the British Commando Forces trained before and during WWII. The training was so intense and the conditions so harsh that it is said more than just a couple men actually died during training.
View from the Commando Memorial... which I actually forgot to take a picture of.
So, what was the next thing we did after being thoroughly bummed out? Went to a whisky distillery! There we got a short tour of the whisky making process and got a wee (and I do mean "weeeee") dram to taste.
Whisky still
Like I said... wee. Barely enough to get your tongue wet and I was reprimanded for drinking it too fast. That sample was meant to last 20 minutes. I think not, sir.
After the semi-disappointing distillery tour we got back on the bus and headed for Loch Ness and the town of Fort Augustus, where we would spend the night. First we went to a little museum called The Clansman Center where we learned all about how the clans lived way back when. Apparently Mel Gibson (see above) had been there a couple times, as well as Madonna and Guy Ritchie. OOoo fancy!
The first demonstration by Bill (I think that was his name) was how a traditional kilt from the ye olde 1500s would have been worn. It was a long process; first the 7 meters (23 ft) of material had to be laid on the floor and pleated.
He of course executed them perfectly, and after tying the Canadian model up in the feet and feet of fabric, lifted up the back of the kilt to reveal his masterpiece!
The completed strapping Highland man.
Now time for the lady's... not as much fabric in this one.
Annnnnd the whole thing together now! Highland dude, chick (in ridiculous wig) and some massive (authentic) weapons.
After a very long and interesting day we made it to the hostel for dinner and some drinking games before hitting the hay. Little did I know what horrors would await me the following morning... SNOW. Quite a lot of it actually and while all the Australians were exciting and having a great time I was quietly brooding and cursing having had to endure so many long winters in my life. The tour guides were in the unhindered spirit camp though, so outward we headed.
Like I said... it was pretty blizzardy.
Okay okay, it appears to have stopped snowing and the mountains look pretty... I can deal with this.
The Five Sisters mountain range
Eilean Donan Castle
After a two hour bus ride through the beautiful (and less and less snowy) Scottish countryside, we finally made it to our big destination: The Isle of Skye. The bus was parked just before the bridge going into Skye so we could take in the epic views with a windy walk over from the mainland.
Looking from the bridge at the Scottish mainland.
The Isle of Skye
The bridge we walked over.
Mainland with beautiful yellow Gorse bushes everywhere.
Saucy Mary's castle... In the 900s she put a chain across the channel so boats would have to pay a toll to go to the open sea. As a gesture of gratitude she would apparently flash her boobs from the top of her castle, which I guess is a good way to get the nickname "Saucy Mary".
Town of Kyleakin
Hairy kuh babies!
Tour guide Scot
According to legend, if you stick your face in this river it will make you more beautiful.
Post-dunk... How ammi lookin?
Lunch stop at the village of Portree.
The lone standing rock on the right is The Old Man of Storr.
Everyone competing in the game "Get-water-in-your-mouth-from-the-top-and-run-down-without-spilling-swallowing-or-dying"... the hill was super muddy and rocky, thus the game was hilarious.
Dat der sure is a purtty coastline.
After touring the coast of Skye for a while it was time to ride the two hours back to the hostel. Luckily our tour guide was an accomplished accordion player and we had a bit of a sing-a-long driving through the beautiful scenery.
Stop off to see the aforementioned Eilean Donan Castle.
Eilean Donan
That night back at the hostel we enjoyed another haggis meal followed by drinking and a pub quiz. It was really fun, but definitely not up to par with the seriousness factor I've come to expect from my favorite quizzes.
The next morning (the last of the tour) we left early again and drove from the southern point of Loch Ness (Fort Augustus) to the northern point (Inverness) and stopped along the way to try to get better acquainted with Nessie.
Where Nessie docks her speed boat, obviously.
We then used a time tested Haggis Adventures Nessie call to summon our monster friend to the bank.
THERE SHE IS (which is obviously why I look like I just pooped my pants).
After the lake we went to a place outside Inverness where large stone structures have been standing for hundreds of years and no one knows why. There was also a snowball fight there... I did not partake.
The most sobering part of the trip was the stop at Culloden Battlefield. Here we heard all about the bloody battle (the last to be fought on British soil), which effectively lost the Scots their independence. The carnage lasted only 45 minutes and thousands of clansmen (and women and children in the immediate area) were slaughtered.
Driving back to Edinburgh, we made a quick coffee stop in an adorable little town that I forgot the name of. The pictures below really emphasize how varied the scenery and weather of the tiny country of Scotland are! Culloden was totally snow covered, freezing and surrounded by mountains and not two hours south this town was completely green, mild and set among gently rolling hills.
We arrived back in Edinburgh around 5pm and a few people I had met on the tour and I went to get dinner. The next day we hung out as well, going on a free walking tour (which I posted the pictures of last time) and seeing some of the city.
Overall I would rate Scotland 9/10, with the only point being lost because it's so freaking expensive. Even so, I would definitely go back as I have a new found love and appreciation for Scotland, its history and people. The Scottish pride and love of tradition could really be felt everywhere I went, which was a wonderful surprise coming from America (which it is practically illegal to be proud of). On that note, I leave you with a little clip of Michael McIntyre talking about the birth of that beloved Scottish tradition; the kilt. I think it nicely sums up the attitude of "The Scot".
